Un poco ansio\u00adso, sabien\u00addo de lo que se tra\u00adta\u00adba me sen\u00adt\u00e9 en el sue\u00adlo para bus\u00adcar foto\u00adgra\u00adf\u00edas para digi\u00adta\u00adli\u00adzar. Via\u00adjar en lo retra\u00adta\u00addo en las hojas de con\u00adtac\u00adto me lle\u00adv\u00f3 a vivir el dolor de las son\u00adri\u00adsas plas\u00adma\u00addas, el rece\u00adlo real, el cora\u00adje. Enton\u00adces pen\u00ads\u00e9 en la poe\u00ads\u00eda y mi expre\u00adsi\u00f3n vital. No hay inten\u00adsi\u00addad en lo que hago y entien\u00addo la raz\u00f3n. Una suer\u00adte de n\u00facleo comien\u00adza a mover\u00adse des\u00adde aden\u00adtro, revo\u00adlu\u00adcio\u00adn\u00e1n\u00addo\u00adse y rugien\u00addo sin que due\u00adla m\u00e1s que en los ojos, pero hace rui\u00addo y ten\u00adgo que que\u00adjar\u00adme en voz alta, mal\u00addi\u00adgo momen\u00adtos y per\u00adso\u00adnas y sobre todo pre\u00adsen\u00adtes. Ten\u00adgo fra\u00adses en la len\u00adgua y no pue\u00addo sol\u00adtar\u00adlas, ser\u00eda como dejar las v\u00eds\u00adce\u00adras sobre una pie\u00addra sucia, lle\u00adna de pol\u00advo y sol. Pero los intes\u00adti\u00adnos y los \u00f3rga\u00adnos ape\u00adnas los pue\u00addo dete\u00adner con las manos, se est\u00e1n salien\u00addo como si me hubie\u00adsen cor\u00adna\u00addo el abdo\u00admen. Y enton\u00adces el cuer\u00adpo ans\u00eda, comien\u00adza a tem\u00adblar pues no hay c\u00f3mo con\u00adte\u00adner qui\u00e9n sabe qu\u00e9 cosa que due\u00adle y no se pue\u00adde per\u00admi\u00adtir que sal\u00adga. No sale y se tiem\u00adbla m\u00e1s y m\u00e1s fuer\u00adte, pare\u00adce ansie\u00addad, todo se vuel\u00adve err\u00e1\u00adti\u00adco, incier\u00adto, sin inte\u00adr\u00e9s. Mien\u00adtras cre\u00adce una angus\u00adtia por saber que la per\u00adcep\u00adci\u00f3n cam\u00adbia y los sen\u00adti\u00addos se rela\u00adjan, como que\u00adrer des\u00adma\u00adyar\u00adse pero dife\u00adren\u00adte. Hay cosas que muer\u00adden al tomar\u00adlas con las manos.<\/p>\n
Y mi poe\u00ads\u00eda ten\u00addr\u00eda que ser dolor y todas mis cabe\u00adzas, pero entre que no se pue\u00adde y ya no se pue\u00adde eva\u00addir m\u00e1s, cada vez escri\u00adbo m\u00e1s y sin escri\u00adbir no esca\u00adpo de ese hili\u00adto que pal\u00adpi\u00adta y es m\u00e1s yo que yo. No. Tam\u00adbi\u00e9n. S\u00ed, tambi\u00e9n.<\/p>\n
El del ochen\u00adta y cin\u00adco tal vez s\u00f3lo remo\u00advi\u00f3 el tem\u00adblor ori\u00adgi\u00adnal, la ca\u00ed\u00adda de todas las ciu\u00adda\u00addes, cuan\u00addo en su pere\u00adcer se lle\u00adva\u00adron la espe\u00adran\u00adza de un ni\u00f1o que ya sos\u00adpe\u00adcha\u00adba que no se pod\u00eda con\u00adfiar. Y mue\u00adre, reza, tiem\u00adbla, y uno no est\u00e1. \u2018No vino\u2019, dicen al un\u00ed\u00adsono tres o cua\u00adtro ni\u00f1os. \u00bfY d\u00f3n\u00adde se vuel\u00adve a enca\u00adjar? No es posi\u00adble recu\u00adpe\u00adrar, s\u00f3lo se enga\u00ad\u00f1a y los de afue\u00adra se dejan enga\u00ad\u00f1ar. \u00bfPor qu\u00e9? \u00bfEs un c\u00f3di\u00adgo que yo no cono\u00adc\u00eda? \u00bfY el otro c\u00f3di\u00adgo, el que me entie\u00adrra las u\u00f1as en el cos\u00adta\u00addo cada vez que vio\u00adlo el que no conoz\u00adco? Due\u00adlo. Due\u00adle. \u00bfDue\u00adle en ver\u00addad? No s\u00e9 si due\u00adle, el mie\u00addo es m\u00e1s fuer\u00adte que el dolor. El mie\u00addo es todos los dolo\u00adres, o el m\u00e1s celoso.<\/p>\n
\n<\/p>
noviem\u00adbre de 2005<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Un poco ansio\u00adso, sabien\u00addo de lo que se tra\u00adta\u00adba me sen\u00adt\u00e9 en el sue\u00adlo para bus\u00adcar foto\u00adgra\u00adf\u00edas para digi\u00adta\u00adli\u00adzar. Via\u00adjar en lo retra\u00adta\u00addo en las hojas de con\u00adtac\u00adto me lle\u00adv\u00f3 a vivir el dolor de las son\u00adri\u00adsas plas\u00adma\u00addas, el rece\u00adlo real, el cora\u00adje. Enton\u00adces pen\u00ads\u00e9 en la poe\u00ads\u00eda y mi expre\u00adsi\u00f3n vital. No hay intensidad [\u2026]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"wp_typography_post_enhancements_disabled":false,"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"default","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"footnotes":""},"categories":[11],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-265","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-pornografia-verbal"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=265"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":649,"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/265\/revisions\/649"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=265"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=265"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/javierarmas.com\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=265"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}