Why I Write. George Orwell

Sour­ce: Poli­ti­cal Wri­tings of Geor­ge Orwell

From a very early age, perhaps the age of five or six, I knew that when I grew up I should be a wri­ter. Bet­ween the ages of about seven­teen and twenty-four I tried to aban­don this idea, but I did so with the cons­cious­ness that I was outra­ging my true natu­re and that soo­ner or later I should have to settle down and wri­te books.

I was the midd­le child of three, but the­re was a gap of five years on either side, and I barely saw my father befo­re I was eight. For this and other reasons I was somewhat lonely, and I soon deve­lo­ped disa­greea­ble man­ne­risms which made me unpo­pu­lar throughout my school­days. I had the lonely chil­d’s habit of making up sto­ries and hol­ding con­ver­sa­tions with ima­gi­nary per­sons, and I think from the very start my lite­rary ambi­tions were mixed up with the fee­ling of being iso­la­ted and under­va­lued. I knew that I had a faci­lity with words and a power of facing unplea­sant facts, and I felt that this crea­ted a sort of pri­va­te world in which I could get my own back for my fai­lu­re in every­day life. Neverthe­less the volu­me of serious — i.e. seriously inten­ded — wri­ting which I pro­du­ced all through my childhood and boyhood would not amount to half a dozen pages. I wro­te my first poem at the age of four or five, my mother taking it down to dic­ta­tion. I can­not remem­ber anything about it except that it was about a tiger and the tiger had “chair-like teeth” — a good enough phra­se, but I fancy the poem was a pla­gia­rism of Bla­ke’s “Tiger, Tiger.” At ele­ven, when the war or 1914–18 bro­ke out, I wro­te a patrio­tic poem which was prin­ted in the local news­pa­per, as was another, two years later, on the death of Kit­che­ner. From time to time, when I was a bit older, I wro­te bad and usually unfi­nished “natu­re poems” in the Geor­gian sty­le. I also attem­pted a short story which was a ghastly fai­lu­re. That was the total of the would-be serious work that I actually set down on paper during all tho­se years.

Howe­ver, throughout this time I did in a sen­se enga­ge in lite­rary acti­vi­ties. To begin with the­re was the made-to-order stuff which I pro­du­ced quickly, easily and without much plea­su­re to myself. Apart from school work, I wro­te vers d’oc­ca­sion, semi-comic poems which I could turn out at what now seems to me asto­nishing speed — at four­teen I wro­te a who­le rhy­ming play, in imi­ta­tion of Aris­topha­nes, in about a week — and hel­ped to edit a school maga­zi­nes, both prin­ted and in manus­cript. The­se maga­zi­nes were the most piti­ful bur­les­que stuff that you could ima­gi­ne, and I took far less trou­ble with them than I now would with the chea­pest jour­na­lism. But side by side with all this, for fif­teen years or more, I was carrying out a lite­rary exer­ci­se of a qui­te dif­fe­rent kind: this was the making up of a con­ti­nuous “story” about myself, a sort of diary exis­ting only in the mind. I belie­ve this is a com­mon habit of chil­dren and ado­les­cents. As a very small child I used to ima­gi­ne that I was, say, Robin Hood, and pic­tu­re myself as the hero of thri­lling adven­tu­res, but qui­te soon my “story” cea­sed to be nar­cis­sis­tic in a cru­de way and beca­me more and more a mere des­crip­tion of what I was doing and the things I saw. For minu­tes at a time this kind of thing would be run­ning through my head: “He pushed the door open and ente­red the room. A yellow beam of sun­light, fil­te­ring through the mus­lin cur­tains, slan­ted on to the table, whe­re a match-box, half-open, lay besi­de the ink­pot. With his right hand in his poc­ket he moved across to the win­dow. Down in the street a tor­to­iseshell cat was cha­sing a dead leaf,” etc. etc. This habit con­ti­nued until I was about twenty-five, right through my non-lite­rary years. Although I had to search, and did search, for the right words, I see­med to be making this des­crip­ti­ve effort almost against my will, under a kind of com­pul­sion from outsi­de. The “story” must, I sup­po­se, have reflec­ted the sty­les of the various wri­ters I admi­red at dif­fe­rent ages, but so far as I remem­ber it always had the same meticu­lous des­crip­ti­ve quality.

When I was about six­teen I sud­denly dis­co­ve­red the joy of mere words, i.e. the sounds and asso­cia­tions of words. The lines from Para­di­se Lost

So hee with dif­fi­culty and labour hard
Moved on: with dif­fi­culty and labour hee.

which do not now seem to me so very won­der­ful, sent shi­vers down my back­bo­ne; and the spe­lling “hee” for “he” was an added plea­su­re. As for the need to des­cri­be things, I knew all about it already. So it is clear what kind of books I wan­ted to wri­te, in so far as I could be said to want to wri­te books at that time. I wan­ted to wri­te enor­mous natu­ra­lis­tic novels with unhappy endings, full of detai­led des­crip­tions and arres­ting simi­les, and also full of pur­ple pas­sa­ges in which words were used partly for the sake of their own sound. And in fact my first com­ple­ted novel, Bur­me­se Days, which I wro­te when I was thirty but pro­jec­ted much ear­lier, is rather that kind of book.

I give all this back­ground infor­ma­tion becau­se I do not think one can assess a wri­te­r’s moti­ves without kno­wing something of his early deve­lop­ment. His sub­ject mat­ter will be deter­mi­ned by the age he lives in — at least this is true in tumul­tuous, revo­lu­tio­nary ages like our own — but befo­re he ever begins to wri­te he will have acqui­red an emo­tio­nal atti­tu­de from which he will never com­ple­tely esca­pe. It is his job, no doubt, to dis­ci­pli­ne his tem­pe­ra­ment and avoid get­ting stuck at some imma­tu­re sta­ge, in some per­ver­se mood; but if he esca­pes from his early influen­ces alto­gether, he will have killed his impul­se to wri­te. Put­ting asi­de the need to earn a living, I think the­re are four great moti­ves for wri­ting, at any rate for wri­ting pro­se. They exist in dif­fe­rent degrees in every wri­ter, and in any one wri­ter the pro­por­tions will vary from time to time, accor­ding to the atmosphe­re in which he is living. They are:

  1. Sheer egoism. Desire to seem cle­ver, to be tal­ked about, to be remem­be­red after death, to get your own back on the grown-ups who snub­bed you in childhood, etc., etc. It is hum­bug to pre­tend this is not a moti­ve, and a strong one. Wri­ters sha­re this cha­rac­te­ris­tic with scien­tists, artists, poli­ti­cians, law­yers, sol­diers, suc­cess­ful busi­ness­men — in short, with the who­le top crust of huma­nity. The great mass of human beings are not acu­tely sel­fish. After the age of about thirty they almost aban­don the sen­se of being indi­vi­duals at all — and live chiefly for others, or are simply smothe­red under drud­gery. But the­re is also the mino­rity of gif­ted, will­ful peo­ple who are deter­mi­ned to live their own lives to the end, and wri­ters belong in this class. Serious wri­ters, I should say, are on the who­le more vain and self-cen­te­red than jour­na­lists, though less inter­es­ted in money .
  2. Aesthe­tic enthu­siasm. Per­cep­tion of beauty in the exter­nal world, or, on the other hand, in words and their right arran­ge­ment. Plea­su­re in the impact of one sound on another, in the fir­mness of good pro­se or the rhythm of a good story. Desire to sha­re an expe­rien­ce which one feels is valua­ble and ought not to be mis­sed. The aesthe­tic moti­ve is very fee­ble in a lot of wri­ters, but even a pamph­le­teer or wri­ter of text­books will have pet words and phra­ses which appeal to him for non-uti­li­ta­rian reasons; or he may feel strongly about typo­graphy, width of mar­gins, etc. Abo­ve the level of a rail­way gui­de, no book is qui­te free from aesthe­tic considerations.
  3. His­to­ri­cal impul­se. Desire to see things as they are, to find out true facts and sto­re them up for the use of posterity.
  4. Poli­ti­cal pur­po­se — using the word “poli­ti­cal” in the widest pos­si­ble sen­se. Desire to push the world in a cer­tain direc­tion, to alter other peo­ples’ idea of the kind of society that they should stri­ve after. Once again, no book is genui­nely free from poli­ti­cal bias. The opi­nion that art should have nothing to do with poli­tics is itself a poli­ti­cal attitude.

It can be seen how the­se various impul­ses must war against one another, and how they must fluc­tua­te from per­son to per­son and from time to time. By natu­re — taking your “natu­re” to be the sta­te you have attai­ned when you are first adult — I am a per­son in whom the first three moti­ves would out­weigh the fourth. In a pea­ce­ful age I might have writ­ten orna­te or merely des­crip­ti­ve books, and might have remai­ned almost una­wa­re of my poli­ti­cal loyal­ties. As it is I have been for­ced into beco­ming a sort of pamph­le­teer. First I spent five years in an unsui­ta­ble pro­fes­sion (the Indian Impe­rial Poli­ce, in Bur­ma), and then I under­went poverty and the sen­se of fai­lu­re. This increa­sed my natu­ral hatred of autho­rity and made me for the first time fully awa­re of the exis­ten­ce of the wor­king clas­ses, and the job in Bur­ma had given me some unders­tan­ding of the natu­re of impe­ria­lism: but the­se expe­rien­ces were not enough to give me an accu­ra­te poli­ti­cal orien­ta­tion. Then came Hitler, the Spa­nish Civil War, etc. By the end of 1935 I had still fai­led to reach a firm deci­sion. I remem­ber a little poem that I wro­te at that date, expres­sing my dilemma:

A happy vicar I might have been
Two hun­dred years ago
To pre­ach upon eter­nal doom
And watch my wal­nuts grow;

But born, alas, in an evil time,
I mis­sed that plea­sant haven,
For the hair has grown on my upper lip
And the clergy are all clean-shaven.

And later still the times were good,
We were so easy to please,
We roc­ked our trou­bled thoughts to sleep
On the bosoms of the trees.

All igno­rant we dared to own
The joys we now dissemble;
The green­finch on the apple bough
Could make my enemies tremble.

But gir­l’s bellies and apricots,
Roach in a sha­ded stream,
Hor­ses, ducks in flight at dawn,
All the­se are a dream.

It is for­bid­den to dream again;
We maim our joys or hide them:
Hor­ses are made of chro­mium steel
And little fat men shall ride them.

I am the worm who never turned,
The eunuch without a harem;
Bet­ween the priest and the commissar
I walk like Euge­ne Aram;

And the com­mis­sar is telling my fortune
Whi­le the radio plays,
But the priest has pro­mi­sed an Aus­tin Seven,
For Dug­gie always pays.

I dreamt I dwelt in mar­ble halls,
And woke to find it true;
I was­n’t born for an age like this;
Was Smith? Was Jones? Were you?

The Spa­nish war and other events in 1936–37 tur­ned the sca­le and the­reaf­ter I knew whe­re I stood. Every line of serious work that I have writ­ten sin­ce 1936 has been writ­ten, directly or indi­rectly, against tota­li­ta­ria­nism and for demo­cra­tic socia­lism, as I unders­tand it. It seems to me non­sen­se, in a period like our own, to think that one can avoid wri­ting of such sub­jects. Ever­yo­ne wri­tes of them in one gui­se or another. It is simply a ques­tion of which side one takes and what approach one follows. And the more one is cons­cious of one’s poli­ti­cal bias, the more chan­ce one has of acting poli­ti­cally without sacri­fi­cing one’s aesthe­tic and inte­llec­tual integrity.

What I have most wan­ted to do throughout the past ten years is to make poli­ti­cal wri­ting into an art. My star­ting point is always a fee­ling of par­ti­sanship, a sen­se of injus­ti­ce. When I sit down to wri­te a book, I do not say to myself, “I am going to pro­du­ce a work of art.” I wri­te it becau­se the­re is some lie that I want to expo­se, some fact to which I want to draw atten­tion, and my initial con­cern is to get a hea­ring. But I could not do the work of wri­ting a book, or even a long maga­zi­ne arti­cle, if it were not also an aesthe­tic expe­rien­ce. Anyo­ne who cares to exa­mi­ne my work will see that even when it is down­right pro­pa­gan­da it con­tains much that a full-time poli­ti­cian would con­si­der irre­le­vant. I am not able, and do not want, com­ple­tely to aban­don the world view that I acqui­red in childhood. So long as I remain ali­ve and well I shall con­ti­nue to feel strongly about pro­se sty­le, to love the sur­fa­ce of the earth, and to take a plea­su­re in solid objects and scraps of use­less infor­ma­tion. It is no use trying to sup­press that side of myself. The job is to recon­ci­le my ingrai­ned likes and dis­li­kes with the essen­tially public, non-indi­vi­dual acti­vi­ties that this age for­ces on all of us.

It is not easy. It rai­ses pro­blems of cons­truc­tion and of lan­gua­ge, and it rai­ses in a new way the pro­blem of truth­ful­ness. Let me give just one exam­ple of the cru­der kind of dif­fi­culty that ari­ses. My book about the Spa­nish civil war, Homa­ge to Cata­lo­nia, is of cour­se a frankly poli­ti­cal book, but in the main it is writ­ten with a cer­tain detach­ment and regard for form. I did try very hard in it to tell the who­le truth without vio­la­ting my lite­rary ins­tin­cts. But among other things it con­tains a long chap­ter, full of news­pa­per quo­ta­tions and the like, defen­ding the Trotsk­yists who were accu­sed of plot­ting with Fran­co. Clearly such a chap­ter, which after a year or two would lose its inter­est for any ordi­nary reader, must ruin the book. A cri­tic whom I res­pect read me a lec­tu­re about it. “Why did you put in all that stuff?” he said. “You’­ve tur­ned what might have been a good book into jour­na­lism.” What he said was true, but I could not have done other­wi­se. I hap­pe­ned to know, what very few peo­ple in England had been allo­wed to know, that inno­cent men were being fal­sely accu­sed. If I had not been angry about that I should never have writ­ten the book.

In one form or another this pro­blem comes up again. The pro­blem of lan­gua­ge is subtler and would take too long to dis­cuss. I will only say that of late years I have tried to wri­te less pic­tu­res­quely and more exactly. In any case I find that by the time you have per­fec­ted any sty­le of wri­ting, you have always out­grown it. Ani­mal Farm was the first book in which I tried, with full cons­cious­ness of what I was doing, to fuse poli­ti­cal pur­po­se and artis­tic pur­po­se into one who­le. I have not writ­ten a novel for seven years, but I hope to wri­te another fairly soon. It is bound to be a fai­lu­re, every book is a fai­lu­re, but I do know with some cla­rity what kind of book I want to wri­te. Loo­king back through the last page or two, I see that I have made it appear as though my moti­ves in wri­ting were wholly public-spi­ri­ted. I don’t want to lea­ve that as the final impres­sion. All wri­ters are vain, sel­fish, and lazy, and at the very bot­tom of their moti­ves the­re lies a mys­tery. Wri­ting a book is a horri­ble, exhaus­ting strug­gle, like a long bout of some pain­ful ill­ness. One would never under­ta­ke such a thing if one were not dri­ven on by some demon whom one can neither resist nor unders­tand. For all one knows that demon is simply the same ins­tinct that makes a baby squall for atten­tion. And yet it is also true that one can wri­te nothing reada­ble unless one cons­tantly strug­gles to effa­ce one’s own per­so­na­lity. Good pro­se is like a win­dow­pa­ne. I can­not say with cer­tainty which of my moti­ves are the stron­gest, but I know which of them deser­ve to be follo­wed. And loo­king back through my work, I see that it is inva­riably whe­re I lac­ked a poli­ti­cal pur­po­se that I wro­te life­less books and was betra­yed into pur­ple pas­sa­ges, sen­ten­ces without mea­ning, deco­ra­ti­ve adjec­ti­ves and hum­bug generally.

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